Rainy Day Rescue #2 and 13

#2 "Hello? Yes I have your dog. She was wandering around the highway today. She was about to get hit by a semi when I snatched her up. She gets out pretty frequently, huh? You leave the gate open so she can return? You're not sure why she went to the busy streets today instead of the neighborhood streets?" -Bekki on the phone with (un)concerned pet-owner

Maybe that's because dogs lack the reasoning skills that (some) people have!

I met Bekki in the yard this morning to see her cradling a very scared little pooch that was covered in feces. We bathed her (twice) to get the poop from her neck and face. I washed her collar which was covered in poop and wiped the rabies tag clean so we could find a number to call. Bekki soon found out the dog's name (Sadie Mae) and the location of her home (2 blocks from the highway). Sadie Mae soon found a budding friendship with another Southern belle as Dixie made her feel more than welcome to play in the backyard. Ernie, who had to be locked in the computer room, was less welcoming.

Her spotted skin was very apparent, especially when we bathed her. This, coupled with her coloring and face, led us to believe that she is a Jack Russel mix. Her body screams either Dauschund or Basset Hound. A weird combination, I know. After the cat I had to bury a few weeks ago and the German Shepard that ran into the woods off of Highway 70, it was nice to be able to have a successful rescue.

#13 The wife and I finally got to see There Will Be Blood last night. I've been itching to see it for a while and wasn't disappointed. Daniel Day-Lewis was just as phenomenal as he always is. The guy that played Eli was pretty stunning, too. This film brought us back to a conversation we had about another movie we recently saw, Shutter. Joshua Jackson is by no means anywhere close to Daniel Day-Lewis (in the wedding scene he has stubble! who doesn't shave on their wedding day?), but the difference that was the most interesting was the length to which each director went to explain their plot. At the end of Shutter, the director gives you a five minute recap to explain the "twist" as if you're a complete idiot. There Will Be Blood, on the other hand, left us scratching our heads at various occurrences. This leads me to my point. The brilliance of any film (or any other artwork for that matter) is not in any one performance, but in how intelligent the director perceives the audience to be.

The title of this blog is a Bob Dylan reference, just in case that was lost to anyone.

The Best Kind of Staff Infection Never Truly Leaves You

Staffordshire Bull Terrier


This is a link to a short article I wrote. Enjoy!

California Or Bust!

I don't know what that title means, but it sounds fitting. Last night went as well as could be expected when you're trapped in sum "cyber room" (oh, god) with a bunch of pathetic little bitches. The conversation got a little raunchy at times, but Prince and I managed to salvage the bulk of it.

Bitches Shot at My House

Bekki found a BB in our yard the other day. A fucking BB. I already know that Austin's momma called the cops (snitch) on those two neighbor boys (I mean, bitches) for shooting BB's at her house. So I figure it's those same motherscratchers shooting their BB gun at MY house. Fuck that. I'll punch a kid in his face. I don't care how young he is.

But before I could say anything, Austin comes over to share his daily hillbillyisms with us. And then Bekki asks him if he knows anything about the BB. Instead of throwing the boys under the bus, he takes the blame for himself. Now, THAT says something to me. It doesn't even matter who shot the BB, now. Austin had the personal integrity to man up to the situation. Austin's got balls.

*And I haven't read a single page in the last three weeks. I suck.

A Five Minute Bitch Slap

Coffee is the word for this weeks Sunday Scribblings . Here's my five minutes worth. Enjoy.

A Room Full of Strangers

A steady wave of morning light washed over Tom as he left the bedroom with the door shut tight. He struck a match and inhaled a deep breath of dissatisfaction as the steam from the coffee pot meandered unknowingly into the sunlight's path. It tasted a lot like Turkish blend. The phone jumped from the hook to pierce the silence Tom had found. He listened intently as a soft young voice expressed her longing into an answering machine. Tom smiled into his coffee as the girl described the overwhelming presence of Rome. ‘You don’t need to go to Rome to be overwhelmed’, Tom thought. His thumb slipped forcefully from the erase button as his eyes locked on the cracked door. A short girl with a large face stood in the doorway holding the sheets to her breast, “Who was it?” Tom exhaled a puff of frustration and smiled, “No one you know”.

-OR-

For Tony

I threw down my last pack of cigarettes over a year ago. They were Marlboro Lights. I miss them sometimes. I also miss the man who raised me. He smoked, as well, until lung cancer snuck up and bit him in the ass. I drink coffee, now. Two pots almost. Better than two packs, I guess. I miss you, grandpa.

Moonshine and Banjos

What better time to reflect about life than Sunday? As we put our inherent pessimism on the shelf next to that mason jar with grandpa's own mountain dew swishin' around inside, let us remember to celebrate our lives as we celebrate our art, for they are one and the same. And if art does imitate life, then isn't any reflection of our art a reflection of the best parts of ourselves? Of our own flawed existence? Good question, right? So just open your hymn books and follow along. . .

The Second Gleam is the latest release from North Carolina natives, The Avett Brothers. Some may have forgotten about this lost gem as it lingers in the shadow of their upcoming major-label debut, but The Second Gleam casts a glow all its own.

The Second Gleam may lack the ferociousness associated with some of the groups other work, but makes up for it with sheer sentimentality. The slow, melodic numbers are the perfect soundtrack for an evening down by the river with the girl that you love. And if you wished your little gal would move just a little bit closer, heartfelt songs like “Bella Donna” will be the best argument made for her to wiggle closer until the distance between the two of you is nonexistent.

The fan favorite here, of course, is “Murder in the City”. “Murder” perhaps does best to summarize the masculine sentimentality that the Avett’s are known for. It goes to show that the Avett’s dedication to love is not pigeon-holed to romantic entanglements, and that their devotion to family is the strongest tie that binds. This is a sentiment that anyone can get behind (not just your ‘little gal down by the river’), and a driving force behind what has made this trio so successful.

Natives of North Carolina have been long devoted to the musical stylizing of the Avetts, and are more than a tad bit anxious to see their leap from hometown wonders to national celebrities. The group is currently working with legendary producer Rick Rubin for their still untitled upcoming album. This will be the groups first with a major label, Rubin’s own American Recordings. Rubin draws his fame from groundbreaking work with Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tom Petty and the late Johnny Cash. The two musical entities draw on a similar style of minimalism that owes more to base melodies and inventiveness rather than simplicity. Novices and audiophiles alike will surely be clamoring to get their hands on a copy of this.

But if you’re still more concerned with getting your hands on your ‘little gal down by the river’, then just push play on the Second Gleam and let the Avetts serenade her into a state of bliss. As the river sways lazily by the silhouette of you and your gal sitting on the hood of your truck, try to think of the moonshine and the banjos, because if you listen too closely to this wonderful record you might get teary-eyed as well.

Confessions of a Guappo

The tangled web of personalities that were responsible for World War II would cause many to heap blame upon the Italians, but I protest! I can prove in several short paragraphs why Italians should be celebrated for conquering the evil zealots and returning peace (?) to the world.

So you're thinking to yourself, 'C'mon, Mike. Everyone knows that Italy was 1/3 of the Axis. How can a group of people who buddied up with Hitler possibly be considered crusaders for peace?'

Well, I would respond to you with a quick slap to the face. How dare you lump the actions of a few deranged Italians onto the whole population and their global descendants? That would be like calling Albert Einstein a Nazi just because he was German born. You're not saying THAT, are you? I didn't think so. Plus, most of the population of Italy during the reign of the Fascists hated them. This is made clear by the public execution of Mussolini after he tried to flee the country.

Fiorello La Guardia
Fiorello La Guardia, notable for being a congressman, three time mayor of New York and the namesake of one of the cities three largest airports, is directly responsible for defeating the Germans in World War II.

Here's how:

La Guardia pushed hard and put loads of pressure onto the police to clean up New York. New York mobsters, including the Five Families, were hit the hardest. This was fuel to the fire for federal prosecutor Thomas E. Dewey who made it his mission to lock up flashy Mafioso's like Dutch Schultz. Lucky Luciano, founder and head of the Commission, grew fearful of the public attention and had Schultz murdered in the hopes of muting the publics interest. After the murder of Schultz, Dewey turned his full attention to Luciano who was sentenced to 30-50 years for running the largest prostitution ring in American history. During World War II, the Allies needed a way to open up a southern front against the Germans who were already battling the Americans coming up from France and the Russians hammering away on the western front. That's when the US government propositioned Lucky Luciano, now imprisoned, to use his Italian connections to ensure safe passage for the Allied soldiers traveling north through Italy. Luciano's sentence was reduced as his mafia buddies in Italy waved the Allies through the backdoor of Europe. Germany was defeated and Hitler blew his brains out while listening to Wagner.

Lucky Luciano

THAT, my friends, is how Fiorello La Guardia is DIRECTLY responsible for the Allied victory in World War II.