Thursday, March 19, 2009

A Few Thoughts on Sex

I don't know why people have to mention pussy and tits in casual conversation. Why can't they just say boobs or vagina? Why do they have to mention it at all? Well I don't care to live in a world void of mammary discussion. It's just the linguistics that eat at me. But what's in a name anyway? And who in the hell is Michael DeAntonio? And why are there so many questions in this paragraph? Maybe I'm just feeling inquisitive. Or maybe the mention of female anatomy in the opening sentence hints at how I'm really feeling.

I planted eight blackberry bushes yesterday. I figure a green thumb is better than a thumb up my ass. Or wherever that little Dutch boy has his thumb. Vagina? If the damn things grow I should have a plethora of blackberries to eat. Ah, did you think I was going to say vagina again?

I have about 40 old Playboy Magazines on a bookshelf next to me. They were my grandfathers. It's interesting to see the stylistic changes in the women. Whatever happened to the natural women of the 1960s and '70s? Oh, there's another question! And here's another! Other than the sluts and porn stars, do you know what other group walk around with hairless vaginas? Prepubescent girls. Maybe there's a correlation between our quest for youth and our desire to see hairless vagina. Hey, I'm just trying to give you something to chew on.

PS. I've never had to make vagina plural before. Is "vaginas" accurate? Whatever. I'm going to wake Bekki up.


quin browne said...

at least you didn't mention penis'...the plural there is peni.

and i agree on the natural shape of breasticles and vagigi's in the old days...

beauty without the pain of an operation or waxing!!

JaMean said...

I thinks vaginas is plural. lol I have never had to speak of more than one.

Funny blog. Thanks for the thoughts on my dog.

One more thought: If you're going to say vagina, say breasts. Boobs is still slang. :P

The Over-Thinker said...

I believe the big O (Ohhhhprah) would refer to the plural as vajayjays.