Behind the cruel snickering and robust chuckles that I've thrown at a growing minority lies the truth that maybe I am what I so vehemently despise. I do not mean to insinuate that I am referring to the homosexuals, because they are still sinful heathens that I thrust my engorged disapproval upon. Nor do I mean to infer the blacks, who will surely hide behind their negro president and drain our limping economy with reparations checks. No, I speak of that most shameful of groups, the science fiction nerds.
I was hesitant at first to review the evidence, but as it stacked up so weightily and so dauntingly before me I found myself with no other option than to examine myself. I love Star Wars. It's true. I am not ashamed of this. If light saber duels are wrong, I don't want to be right. This alone, though, is not enough to condemn me. Sigh. I am also a huge Twilight Zone fan. And I use to watch the original Star Trek growing up. And I watch Ghost Hunters on the SciFi Channel. I know, I know. Please keep your disapproving eyes off me. I feel enough shame as it is.
Upon this new revelation I decided to embrace my new found identity instead of hiding behind a facade of ubercool swagger and dashing good looks. A few years ago, I went to see the first Lord of the Rings movie in the theater and walked out 2 hours into it. I decided to give this "masterpiece" another chance. Round 2 came on TNT the other night. I watched it. The next night they played Return of the King, the third installment. I watched this one as well. My conclusion: Lord of the Rings still blows.
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