Friday, December 19, 2008

The Infallible Rick Warren

Like Big Tobacco before him, Barack Obama has the full right as an American to publicly deny the inherent dangers of exposing the country to Rick Warren. Perhaps future "scientists" will reveal that second hand Rick Warren exposure was more compromising to our health than second hand smoke, but for now the country waits in awed wonder for the honorable pastors religious invocation during the presidential inauguration.

As the realization of Warren's words take hold, perhaps abused children across the country will start to view gays with the same contempt as they view their fathers and uncles. Pedophilia and homosexuality are both epidemics in American culture. God bless Rick Warren for connecting the two. Personally, I am joyed in anticipation for the joint-damnation of murderers/people-who-wear-white-after-Labor-Day. Or the combination of adultery and Catholics who eat pork on Friday.

Rick Warren did not choose to be hateful. Let us, the American public, not condemn or persecute him for his lifestyle. His lifestyle is not a choice. God has made each of us in his own image and endowed us each with our own special talents and destinies. Some were destined to seek love in unusual and unorthodox places. Some were destined to spread fear and devision. Surely, Rick Warren was destined for greatness.

3 comments:

Peter Varvel said...

Yeah, he was born that way. I just saw a show on the Discovery Channel that said being hateful is genetic, so it's not his fault.

Michelle said...

I think you meant "Catholics who ate FISH on Friday"...right? As for Rick Warren, he probably hangs out with Ted Haggard from the New Life Church....

Michael DeAntonio said...

Catholics are not suppose to eat meat on Friday because it's a sin. That's why they eat fish because it's not considered "meat".Therefore, eating pork on Friday is the minor sin that when paired with adultery is supposed to result in a comedic affect. Apparently, though, this did not occur.

Yeah, Warren and Haggard host stripper parties with Joel Osteen.