Friday, January 2, 2009


This post was inspired by Mr. Peter Varvel over at Plastic Bubble World. Thank you for the inspiration, Peter.

1. When I was 1 I slept in a wooden crib that my grandfather built for me.
2. When I was 2 my parents had sex for the second time and my sister was born.
3. I was being bathed once when I was 3 and managed to pee FROM the bathtub INTO the toilet that was across the room.
4. I slept in a wooded bed that I built for myself when I was 4.
5. When I was 5 my grandmother took a whole roll of film of just me eating vanilla yogurt. (She developed them in our basement/dark room)
6. When I was 6 my parents, believing married couples should have intercourse more than twice, decided to divorce and go their seperate ways.
7. I read alot of Shel Silverstein when I was 7 and was inspired to create the "Bridge to Nowhere" book series. Sadly, no publisher would take it up and I was forced to sell it to Sarah Palin.
8. At 8 years old I probably picked my nose alot.
9. When I was 9 I discovered my penis. We've been friends ever since.
10. I decided to turn 10 because I was sick of single digits.
11. When I was 11 I discovered cigarettes and pornography. (Thanks to my mother and father, respectively)
12. When I was 12 I discovered marijuana was easier to come by than alcohol.
13. By the time I was 13 I was peddling H to middle schoolers. Once they got hooked and strung out, I'd convince them to start hooking.
14. When I was 14 I kissed a girl for the first time.
15. During my freshman year of highschool, I took a creative writing class. I met my future wife in this class (I was 15).
16. I got my driver's license and started working when I was 16.
17. When I was 17, it was a very good year.
18. Graduated when I was 18.
19. I started working on a crabbing boat when I was 19.
20. After a successful day at work, Bekki made the joke that I had "got crabs". I immediately quit the crab boat.
21. I married my highschool sweetheart at 21.
22. When I was 22 my grandfather passed away.
23. Bekki and I moved up to North Carolina when I was 23.
24. When I was 24 I started writing again and discovered the wonderful world of blogging.
25. Who knows what 25 will bring. Children? Possibly.


Peter Varvel said...

You have a amazing memories. This left me wanting more - too bad you're not older.
Children? You have too many, already, all four-legged ones.

Madley said...

Lovely way to welcome the New Year... here's a to a great one, with or without the kids (for now) :)

Prince Gomolvilas said...

When Mike was 25, he finally felt what it was like to have a dick in his mouth. (Or so I hope.)

quin browne said...

good list, but, you didn't discover your penis as your best friend until you were 9??

the investment was 9 months old, looked down, touched it, and a look of complete joy came over his face.

i've not had to buy him a present for his birthday or christms since.. how can i top a penis as a toy?

Cheryl said...

Good god you are young. Too young for so many crabs, at least.