Monday, April 13, 2009

An Open Letter to Jesus and the Easter Bunny

Dear Fellas,

I just want to thank the both of you for Easter. This year was a blast. It was the first time Bekki and I got to host a formal dinner. Well, the only guests were her mother and father so I'm not sure how formal that all was. The food was exquisite. The old ball and chain whipped up a pork tenderloin flavored with garlic and Cabernet sauvignon. It was almost as good as knowing the Easter Bunny's real.

In keeping with Easter Bunny tradition, we also had a side of spinach. So, you're welcome Easter Bunny. And Jesus, I wanted to do something for you as well, but it turns out Bekki got all of her recipes from Weight Watchers so it was kinda hard to fake the whole 'guilt thing'.

It's been so long since we've talked. Lemme think, what's new. . . what's new. . . Oh! They elected some black guy as president! Can you believe that? Next thing you know we'll be banking with Asians and praying to Jews. Oops, sorry that just kinda slipped. He'll do fine, though. The black guy. Not you, Jesus. Of course you're doing fine. No one doubts that. But I do have some news you'll probably find disturbing. Um, how to put this delicately. Well, you've heard about Vermont, right? . . .

9 comments:

quin browne said...

i'm not sure what i like more.. the post or the tags.





ps thanks for the nice compliment! we mature ladies love compliments.

Louise Larsen said...

Your Easter dinner sounds tastier than mine, but that's because I'm so sick of people (southerners, oh no!) serving honey ham at Easter.

At least my cheesegrits kicked some ass.

What part of Appalachia do you guys live?

FYI: I lived in Winston-Salem for a few years, (NCSA) but I doubt you were alive back then.

--Louise on the left.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

And he's back.

Thank you.

Jeff Tompkins said...

You should also give thanks for Peeps.

Peter Varvel said...

Jesus knows about Vermont. He helped make that happen 'cause I prayed and asked him to.
And the Easter Bunny's not real?!
YOU LIE. Tell me you're lying.
PLEEZ.

Wifey said...

So sad you don't do this blog anymore. You should be ashamed.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Martha Graham said:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and, because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

Louise Larsen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Louise Larsen said...

An amazing quote to hang where it will be read every day.

Thank you.

-- Louise