Thursday, June 26, 2008

Even Girls Have Smelly Buttholes

I read a magazine called 'ol skool rodz'. It's a car mag that's filled with colorful cars and busty broads. Bekki is under the assumption that the cleavage grabs my attention more than the rust encrusted model-T's. I've got eyes. But I've also got a heart. A heart that goes out to gals with big stomachs and bad hair-dos. I realize that the tattooed and pierced up rockabilly broads are just another version of the blond haired, blue eyed Cosmo models: they both showcase women as stick figures with large titties and at least three coats of paint, except instead of Sherwin-Williams they're using Max Factor. Real women hate the way they look and eat fried chicken.

And yeah, the rockabilly broads are just pigeon-holding themselves into a somewhat less popular stereotypical archetype of beauty, but at least they're fully aware that they're nothing more than cliches. They do know that , don't they?

Putting the Cosmo starlets and rockabilly broads aside, the subgroup of females that really has my support are the gals that need support the most. Ass support. What support, if any, does a nylon string cutting up your smelly ass-crack* provide, hmm? What happened to thongs being merely for strippers and porn stars? This goes back to my belief that real women hate the way they look and eat fried chicken. And, girl, you know that fried chicken's going directly to that big ol' ass of yours. But that's ok. That's why fruit of the loom made briefs. So put on a pair of High Rise Briefs and throw out that crusty old g-string. Or, better yet, put it in your medicine cabinet. The next time you get some chicken cartilage in your teeth, hey! you've already got floss!

Not that I really give a rat's ass what other people think is beautiful, though. I'm just lucky enough to have the most beautiful girl in the world right by my side day and night. But ladies, if you need that pink thong with the little lacy thingies coming off it to feel beautiful, then go ahead and feel beautiful. But if you're hungry for a drumstick, well that's alright, too.

"Oh baby, this is dedicated to all the pretty girls. All the pretty girls in the world, and the ugly girls too cause to me you're pretty anyway."

-Ol' Dirty Bastard




*No one wants to smell poop when they're sniffin' your panties. So please keep your drawers from rubbing up on your hairy old butthole. Thank you.

1 comment:

chris said...

i'll take a girl in a thong over a girl in granny panties any day. ha ha ha