The Jehovah's Witnesses left a religious track on my door yesterday. I find it humorous that the throngs of churches scattered around our little country town all vie for the souls of the damned. I suppose Bekki and I are indeed damned. I'm fine with that, though. I'm also fine with the track that was left. I've received far more horrifying pamphlets before. I've received tracks where cartoon children are burning in the flames of Hell because they forsook Jesus Christ or voted Democrat or some other deadly sin. This one was calm, polite and family friendly. I appreciate that.
The Baptist Church across the street actually has a three person team dedicated to saving the souls of the damned. I find that a little pretentious. Especially when they came to my door. Like I said before, I AM damned, but how do they know that? They're either assuming that anyone who isn't a member of the Baptist Church is damned OR they know what I do in the shower when the door is locked. Either way, I find it a bit pretentious and arrogant that they think they have the tools to offer me salvation and everlasting life in Heaven. Wouldn't it be a trip if the next time some false Holy Man comes to my door that I try to save HIS soul. It would probably just turn into a dead end argument of 'oh yeah, my god can smite your god!' followed by 'nuh uh! my god can smite YOUR god!'. All of this talk about salvation got me thinking. And so I turned to a man who has offered me great comfort and wisdom throughout my life: George Carlin.
After watching his stand-up routine for "Religion is Bullshit", I got to thinking about other things that are bullshit. First off, the police officer that pulled me over the other night was bullshit. Both the ticket and the lip he gave me were bullshit. The DMV that told me all of my fines from a year prior were paid when in fact they weren't was bullshit. That same DMV that still couldn't locate the fine in their computer system that the cop had cited me for was bullshit. And the cop taking the license plate off the back of my car and telling me not to go "cruising" was definitely bullshit.
The fact that gas is so inflated that I can hardly get to work, much less go "cruising" is bullshit. George W. Bush having yet to address the issue despite everyone knowing that him, his family and his friends are all connected with and profiting from oil is bullshit. The fact that the oil inflation has caused such a tear in the economy that thousands of people (like me) are losing their jobs (like mine) due to nonexistent profits (like my workplace is experiencing) is bullshit.
But through all of this, I look to my wife's beautiful smile, I look to the life we've built together and I look forward to the peaceful walks we take along Southern Street every night. These are the things that keep me sane. Having my dogs bark at the neighbor boys. Having my wife beg me for a back rub. Having the throngs of religious zealots yearning for my soul- these are the simple pleasures of Mountain life. All of the unnecessary death, disease and poverty in the world is bullshit. All of the child prostitution, drug addictions and warfare is bullshit. All of the endless and unnecessary suffering that religion claims to fight but in actuality only perpetuates is bullshit. But as I sit in my backyard and watch the dogs chase lightning bugs, all I can say is . . .
. . . so what?
Man Pranks Dog
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