Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The White Man's Burden

Indeed, Wiggas are the new Negro. They are the social oddity for a new generation of aristocrats. They need to be studied at great length, perhaps even kept for public observation in a zoo or traveling circus. They, like the Negro of old, are the closest that civilized society has to the Missing Link. The mention here of historical blemishes is not meant to reopen old wounds, but to illustrate our subject's history which is forever intertwined with that of the Negro. And like the Negro of old, it is our responsibility to protect the Wigga from himself. This is the White Man's Burden.

Some folks would have you believe that the Wigga is nothing more than an individual obsessed with popular culture. They feel that the Wigga displays this with his dress, mannerisms and speech patterns. I will state my case in order to convert the nonbelievers that the Wigga is indeed a false heir to the throne of the Negro.

I do not believe that characteristics are inherent for certain racial groups. I have therefore left off the -er on the end of the root word, Wigg, and opted for the more socially accepted -a. I do not think of the Wigga as a "White Nigger", but as a "White Nigga". Aside from the obvious racial slur that the "Wigger" implies, I can honestly say that I have never seen a White man trying to emulate an Uncle Remus-type persona. Perhaps the closest there ever came to this would be Stevie Ray Vaughn. No, the Wigga is driven by urges unknown to the scientific world to copy and emulate the mid-Eighties to the Present urban black culture where it's members are self-identified as "Bitches" or "Niggas" . It is this specifically crafted stereotype that the Wigga spends every waking moment trying to emulate. This is who the Wigga is.

I'll open with a quote by one of the top spokesmen of the Nigga Movement, Tupac Shakur: "Niggers was the ones on the rope, hanging off the thing; niggas is the ones with gold ropes, hanging out at clubs." This does as much as any argument to paint the differences between the two words and their meanings. So, in turn, a "Wigger" would be someone who only wants to drink from the "colored-only" water-fountain, whereas a "Wigga" would be someone who only wants to drink Colt 45 (and probably from a brown paper bag).

So, in establishing that there does exist a Black subculture that refer to themselves as "Niggas", we can disprove those who claim that Wiggas are only emulating popular culture. Corn row braids, baggy FUBU pants and 22inch rims on an 88 Pontiac are not products of pop. culture, they are the hallmark of the Nigga Movement. Therefore, when a White person has or does these certain things, they are trying to establish themselves in Nigga culture, but due to the fact that no matter how hard they try to drop their S's they will never be "Niggas", they are cast aside as wanna-be fake pussies or the preferred "Wigga".

Wiggas are not evil because they try to assimilate themselves into a culture that will never accept them. Wiggas are evil because they have taken the most vile actions and stereotypes from a Black subculture and held those vices to such high esteem. They thrive off materialism, masochism and violence (or the facade of violence because they're really just huge pussies that could never hurt anything except maybe their girlfriends' feelings when they refer to them as 'ma baby momma').

The Wigga can be saved, though. And it is this, the white man's burden, to free the Wigga from the clutches of a meaningless subculture. Like a dog that is distracted by a shiny object (most likely platinum), we must roll up the newspaper we call civility and smack their wet noses until some sort of appreciation is formed for rational thought and respect for all of mankind (not just the thuggish kind). The Wigga is not our enemy. They are just like us but they are lost to a sea of commercialism first navigated by the likes of Snoop Doggy Dogg, Easy-E and Dr. Dre. Indeed, these pioneering sailors of crap are at the core of this cancer spreading through every race and nationality in this great country of ours. Not just the Wigga, though, but also the Essays (Latinos), the Stir-Fried Niggas (Asians) and the OG's (the true Niggas) need our compassion and help to overcome this crippling obsession with apathy and poor style.

Yes, the Nigga Movement has spread to almost every aspect of American culture (mainly thru Mtv), forever embedding itself into our collective consciousness. We owe it to the misguided young white, black, latino and asian people to stomp out this atrocity. We owe it to the youth of America. We owe it to ourselves. This is not just the White Man's Burden, this lies on the shoulders of us all.


P.S. The next time you see a gaudy looking thug walking down the street like a peacock, kindly remind him that the Italians did it first.

1 comment:

Your wife said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.