Fists of Fury

Has anyone else seen or even heard of the indie film Mysterious Skin? If you would prefer spending an hour and a half of your life feeling as uncomfortable as possible then this is the movie for you (just don't watch it with your parents or, Heaven forbid, your children). It deals with pedophilia, homosexuality and aliens. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the lead role as an ex-child abuse victim who has turned to a life of homosexual prostitution. Brady Corbet plays opposite Gordon-Levitt. His character is also molested as a child, but opts out of promiscuity in favor of becoming an asexual retard. This only confirms my belief that all homosexuals are either the victim of a sex crime or mentally retarded.

Bekki and I watched Mysterious Skin this past Monday. If anyone is wondering, she picked it out. I probably would have picked out something a tad more masculine like Enter the Dragon or Dirty Harry- which, by the way, I finally got to see Tuesday night in my hotel room in Charlotte. The first half left me shaking my head at what I thought would be just another predictable cop movie, but then the vigilante-style butt-stomping pinned me to the wall as Clint Eastwood pounded on the back door of the crooked judicial system.

Dirty Harry is what America needs right now. So while those Prop 8 fags out in California petition you to pound on their back doors, remember that this country was forged by the hard work and dedication of real men like John McCain. The debate last night left no doubt in my mind that McCain has the spunk and grit to lead this country out of the Hell that he voted us into. So if you enjoy films about children fisting old guys with moustaches then vote for Barrack Obama. But if you enjoy a good, old-fashioned American butt-stomping movie then vote for John 'the Maverick' McCain. Because although McCain endured horrible acts of brutality as a POW in Hanoi, I'm sure his mind is scarred in a completely different way than the boys in Mysterious Skin. No, the only thing that clouds John McCain's judgment is a heavy fog of raging patriotism.