Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hank Jr. Still Has Large Testicles

Oh, Hank, say it ain't so. I was watching CNN the other night and was horrified to hear that Hank Williams Jr. is in support of John McCain. Can this be so? Not fully trusting CNN's credentials, I rushed to the internet for a more reliable source- some random blog. Yes, it's true. Bocephus will be playing at upcoming John McCain rallies.

Williams has a history of right wing, gun toting politics, but I was still hopeful that maybe time had changed him. Johnny Cash was a life-long member of the Republican Party until he came to his senses in old age. Merle Haggard repented for a life spent in the conservative trenches and spoke out against George W. Bush and the current administration. And Willie Nelson-well, Willie was always pretty much a liberal nut-job. But the point is that when men age they lose testosterone and in return gain a heaping dose of common sense. Despite everything Williams has said and done in the past, I was hoping against hope that his testicles had finally shrunken in circumference. Maybe by 2012 his balls will be smaller than mine.


Your wife said...

What do you expect, Bill?

Mike Valentino said...

Bekki, now everyone will know that my real name is Bill Billstrum and not Mike! Why would you blow my cover?

And I thought maybe b/c Williams was a secessionist that he wouldn't be into American politics at all. He did once claim that we'd be better off if the South won the civil war and that he would like to run for president of the CSA. That doesn't sound very patriotic, does it?

So remember, rednecks and hillbillies alike, the confederate flag flying alongside the stars and stripes outside of your trailer is perhaps the biggest hypocrisy there is. If you're not sure what hypocrisy is, look it up in the dictionary. That's the real heavy book with all the words in it.