Friday, November 7, 2008

The Emperor Has No Credit

-Or-
A Black Man, A Socialist and Joe the Plumber Walk Into A Bar. . .

Indeed, we should all be fearful now that the far left has grabbed the reins of this great country of ours. The election of Barack Obama is not only historical for being the first time a black man has held the office of president, but for being the first time the office has been held by a socialist. Even though the election is over, we must not give up the good fight, fellow comrades. If we allow our capitalistic ideals to be watered-down by tap-dancing liberals, where does this slippery slope of greased hardwood floors and stumbling shuffle hop steps end?

Now that the most tap-dancing-ish liberal of all, Barack Obama, has defeated what five years in Hanoi could not, are we headed for a Russo-Vietnamese style communist system? Joe Wurzelbacher, better known by his nom de plume Joe the Plumber, described Obama as an experienced and accomplished tap-dancer and "almost as good as Sammy Davis, Jr." Can we possibly survive as a nation when we're being run by light-loafered reds who want to replace the 3-count time step with the "one step closer to socialism" followed by a gancho and enchufla?

In the words of Joe the Plumber's parents who went on welfare twice during Joe's childhood, NO! Spreading the wealth is as un-American as race-mixing or gay marriage. But to those who embrace a changing America, the newly announced engagement of Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis, Jr. probably comes as a pleasant surprise especially considering the fact that both of them are dead. Just a friendly reminder, even though they're no longer living, like Obama, they are both definitely black. So as ballrooms across America morph into time-traveling Slip-n-Slides aimed at 1950's-styled McCarthyism, we can rest easy on the knowledge that at least in the 1950's gays couldn't marry and blacks had their own water fountains.

JoeThePlumber.com

8 comments:

Misty Harris said...

I pity the person who stumbles upon this blog and tries to figure you out from your last few blog posts! I think they might need some kind of GPS navigation, and possibly subtitles.

That's a compliment, btw. Rock on with your controversy-baiting self!

Ziggy Za. said...

"But to those who embrace a changing America, the newly announced engagement of Gregory Hines and Sammy Davis, Jr. probably comes as a pleasant surprise especially considering the fact that both of them are dead."

Highlight of the post for me. Hilarious.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Misty, I keep telling Mike he's going to be mistakenly co-opted by the right wing, and they're going quote him like scripture. :) Yay! Infiltration!

Cheryl said...

My McCain-supporting dad likes to warn me about the dangers of a world without personal wealth as a motivating factor. All you need to do is look at all those rich welfare queens out there, eating bon bons all day while they laugh at the middle class and their annoying jobs and houses and pesky feelings of self-worth to know it's true.

Quin Browne said...

doesn't joe realise the o to the b to the ama isn't black, he's more a cafe au lait?

Quin Browne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Over-Thinker said...

Clickity-clack-clack-jazz hands...

Just me over here. TAP-DANCING.

JAZZ HANDS!!!

Peter Varvel said...

Hey. I tap dance (just like the over-thinker!).

Oh. I guess that only helps to prove the points in this post.

Hooray!