Tuesday, September 9, 2008

To Kill a Billy Goat

Did you know that the Bible predicts that a Muslim will become president of America? I didn't either! Nor was I aware that Obama was a Muslim! I don't know why the Republicans aren't jumping all over this. Maybe they don't know. Hey, maybe we should tell them. There's a thought. Well, that was Renee's talking point LAST week. THIS week all she could talk about was getting her neighbor a job. So I told her to get him to come on in and I'd see what I could do. So homeboy shows up. No, I don't call him homeboy just because he is black. I call him homeboy because of his tattoos. On his face. Of two blue tear drops.

I tried to reason with Renee about why I couldn't hire her neighbor. She just couldn't see the big deal about having prison tats on your face that announce to everyone that you are responsible for a double homicide. "So he killed somebody. So what? My brother killed somebody. He served his time". Hmm.

Later on that day I received ANOTHER shock to the system. Instead of Bekki and I taking the dogs on our nightly walk up beautiful Southern St, we opt for looping up Main St and going back down Cleghorn. Little did I know that Cleghorn is even uglier on foot. Aside from sum scary old lady yelling from her porch to ask us for Tylenol, a herd of goats was the only memorable part. Yes, I said a herd of goats! In a fenced-in, empty lot covered in kudzu there were a lively group of goats that literally scared the feces out of Dixie .

So, of course, we rush home to ask our man on the inside what the word on the street is. Our man on the inside who hears every word on the street? Austin . "Yeah, they let them goats go so they'd eat all the grass". And then Austin really laid sum truth on us when I asked about his Confederate flag t-shirt. "We hate black people". So all the times Austin's mom randomly stated that they weren't racist WAS just bullshit. Interesting. The worst part about it was that we had our window open. So, like always, Jane's sitting on the kitchen counter by the open window listening to every last racist word. It definitely rubbed off on her. Every other thing she says now is "Nigger this" and "Nigger that". I can't get her to quit! It's horrible!

The life-sized cardboard Barack Obama cut-out? Jane pissed on it. And then called it a nigger! I know that Austin is a bad influence on her fragile mind, but I can't help thinking that she's picking it up from other sources as well. Last night I walked in the computer room and caught her watching this bullshit .

Maybe my live chat with that raging faggot, Prince Gomolvilas, will open her mind up. A parent can only try so hard.


Peter Varvel said...

Stop it! All this talk about goats is making me hard!
. . . and Jane needs Sensitivity Training for Pussies.

shaikens said...

haha, Renee seems awesome. I want a neighbor with tear drops and prison tats.

Well, not really. That would be crossing the line. I think.

shaikens said...

oh, and I did NOT know that about the Bible.

Hmm.. Interesting.