I was walking alone in the woods today, as I often do. And I scarcely saw someone up the path. So I slowed my pace and hugged the shoulder so the stranger could pass. He hugged the opposite shoulder, as expected, and I gave my obligatory greeting. But as I passed that quick-footed patron of silence, I planted my feet into the dirt and turned to question the man, "What the fuck did you just say?"
My eyes were bloodshot and the veins on my arms bulged like a cock in a pair of boxer briefs. I puckered my lips tight with determination. "I'll ask it again. What the fuck did you just say to me?"
His face flickered with fear against the backdrop of the forest. "I didn't say anything", he stammered.
"Exactly. I walk past you and say hi and what do you say? Nothing. Not a fucking word. Who the fuck do you think you are?" I approached speedily and with grace as if gliding over the worn down pathway. The stranger inched backwards. "You egotistical motherfucker! This is exactly what I'm talking about!" His footing was uneasy at best. The heels of his boots bucked against random rocks that littered the dirt. "This is exactly what's wrong with this country today. It's filled with people like you who don't give two shits about anyone else". His cries were shrill as his legs failed. The crack of his skull was quick and dull against the heavily packed earth. "You call yourself a fucking outdoors men as you soil the land with oil refineries and murder its creatures for sport" I rushed to the fallen stranger and threw my fists towards his lifeless face. "You send us to die for your profits! You hold back our health care for your profit! You tax us on what we buy, where we live and what we do for a living!" Blood from the strangers face jumped up with each balled up fist that flailed downward. "You are a snake! You are a hypocrite! You are nothing you claim to be!" With each seceding blow the impact grew softer. Perhaps it was the blood that cushioned the strangers face. Perhaps it was the bones breaking in my fingers. Or perhaps it was the exhaustion spent on trying to kill an idea.
Man Pranks Dog
11 months ago