Wedding is the word for this weeks Sunday Scribblings . It also happens that I recently had a conversation about weddings with my BFF, Prince Gomolvilas . Enjoy the transcript.
ring ring ring
Mike: Yello?
Prince: Hey, Mike. It's me, Prince!
Mike: Oh, hey buddy! It's nice to hear from you! What do I owe the pleasure of this call?
Prince: I was just calling to check in, see how things are going with you.
Mike: I appreciate that. Good, good. The cream you suggested work brilliantly. The pain is almost gone.
Prince: That's good. What can I say? This beat-up Chevy's been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean.
Mike: (uncomfortable chuckle) Yeah, I think I do, Prince. So, anyways, is your sister still engaged to old what's-his-face?
Prince: Yes, and I wouldn't care that she devotes her life to some stranger she barely knows if it weren't for the possibility that she discovers that they aren't compatible and divorce.
Mike: I wouldn't want my sister to go through that type of heartache, either.
Prince: Fuck heartache. I just don't want her to get re-married. One wedding is enough to attend. I'm not sitting through another. If Brad Pitt can't get married because gays can't get married, then she shouldn't get married.
Mike: Well said.
Prince: She needs to respect Brad Pitt's premeditated decision to use one group's lack of civil liberties to disguise his own fear of commitment.
Mike: Not all weddings are bad, though. Mine was lovely. It was a Spring wedding, small, outside. . .
Prince: Shut the fuck up.
Mike: Or if it's a large wedding, maybe it'll be like the opening scene of the Godfather. Remember?
Prince: Yeah. That was a pretty fun looking wedding. The best part was when the curly-haired guy. . .
Mike: Sonny.
Prince: Yeah, Sonny. When he was fucking the bride in that room. That was crazy!
Mike: That wasn't the bride. It was a bridesmaid he was screwin'.
Prince: No, it wasn't! It was the bride!
Mike: Prince, the bride was Sonny's sister. He was fuckin' his sister?
Prince: (awkward silence) Well, that certainly changes the plot significantly.
Mike: Sorry to cut this short, but I think I have to reapply some of my cream. It's starting to puss again.
Prince: Alright. Bye, BFF.
Mike: Bye, you.
click.
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5 comments:
This transcript is inaccurate. I would never use that much profanity. I am a lady.
wow.
I mean, just....wow.
Yes Mike, Prince is a lady. She would never curse like that.
Maybe should try subtle bitchiness. That works well for her.
Alright, alright…been reading your SS stuff for awhile…I keep coming back so I might as well say something, eh? All in all I like the hard facts and brass tacks here. Too much sunshiny stuff makes me queasy and I hate barfing saccharin.
Have I (and the other jailbait from the chat) mentioned that I love you?
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