Saturday, August 2, 2008

A Conversation with. . .


My Neighbor

knock knock knock

Me: Hey (I trailed off because I don't know her name)

Neighbor: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I saw two black boys walkin thru yer yard yesterday.

Me: What?!

Neighbor: Yeah, they jus cum thru the front yard right there and along thru the back on to my yard.

Me: Niggers? Thru my yard?
(She was quickly taken aback but regained her composure almost instantly.)

Neighbor: Yeah, two little nigger boys jus walked thru yer yard yesterday.

Me: Well, what were they doin'?

Neighbor: Well (she sighed) I got this dirt bike in my back yard and I think they were aimin' ta steal it. But I just stood there and glared at 'em.

Me: Well if I've got nigger boys walkin' thru my yard I better go buy a chain to tie up the lawn mower.

Neighbor: I wuz jus thinkin' that. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they tried to steal yer lawn mower. (We keep it on our back patio unlocked)

Me: Well, I appreciate you lookin' out for us. If I see anything strange going on, I'll let you know.

Neighbor: Alright then. Bye.

Me: Bye. (I turned and yelled to Bekki) Get the guns out the closet, Bekki! We got niggers, again!

5 comments:

shaikens said...

hahaha, this was amazing and wrong all at once.

Mike Valentino said...

well, this was suppose to be humorous, but I guess it didn't pan out like it did in my head. oh well.

ginger b said...

Racism gets such a bad rap. When done right, it's just down right hilarious.

Mike Valentino said...

ginger- well put.

Memphis Steve said...

You know, Michael Richards tried this, but it just didn't work for him. You do it much better.