Saturday, August 2, 2008

A Conversation with. . .

My Neighbor

knock knock knock

Me: Hey (I trailed off because I don't know her name)

Neighbor: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I saw two black boys walkin thru yer yard yesterday.

Me: What?!

Neighbor: Yeah, they jus cum thru the front yard right there and along thru the back on to my yard.

Me: Niggers? Thru my yard?
(She was quickly taken aback but regained her composure almost instantly.)

Neighbor: Yeah, two little nigger boys jus walked thru yer yard yesterday.

Me: Well, what were they doin'?

Neighbor: Well (she sighed) I got this dirt bike in my back yard and I think they were aimin' ta steal it. But I just stood there and glared at 'em.

Me: Well if I've got nigger boys walkin' thru my yard I better go buy a chain to tie up the lawn mower.

Neighbor: I wuz jus thinkin' that. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they tried to steal yer lawn mower. (We keep it on our back patio unlocked)

Me: Well, I appreciate you lookin' out for us. If I see anything strange going on, I'll let you know.

Neighbor: Alright then. Bye.

Me: Bye. (I turned and yelled to Bekki) Get the guns out the closet, Bekki! We got niggers, again!


shaikens said...

hahaha, this was amazing and wrong all at once.

Mike Valentino said...

well, this was suppose to be humorous, but I guess it didn't pan out like it did in my head. oh well.

ginger b said...

Racism gets such a bad rap. When done right, it's just down right hilarious.

Mike Valentino said...

ginger- well put.

Memphis Steve said...

You know, Michael Richards tried this, but it just didn't work for him. You do it much better.