ring ring ring
Shaikens: Hey! Can I speak with Michael, please?
Me: Speaking. Who's this?
Shaikens: Hey, this is Shaikens from the internet.
Me: "From the internet"? Really?
Shaikens: Yeah, I gotta make this quick. The League's holding their semi-finals down at the bowling alley tonight, so let's cut the bullshit.
Me: Ok. (My voice trembled with fear)
Shaikens: You need to fix your RSS feed. You're not coming up on my page so there's no way I can keep track of your complete awesomeness.
Me: Do you mean 'aweSUMness'?
Me: You know, spelled SUM instead of SOME?
Shaikens: We're on the phone.
. . . awkward pause. . .
Me: What IS a RSS feed?
Shaikens: What do you mean, 'what IS a RSS feed'?
Me: Well, this is sort of embarrassing, but I'm kinda new to this whole internet thing. I've never blogged before.
the receiver crackled with so much laughter
Shaikens: You've never blogged before?! Ha ha ha! What a loser! Ha ha ha! Wait a second. Are you crying? Seriously? I can't believe you're crying! What a pussy! Bad Sum Bitch? More like, uh, just Bitch! Ha ha ha!
Me: Please, stop. I'm on medication.
Shaikens: Ha ha ha! You're sick! Ha ha!
Me: Well, uh, I'm glad you called, Shaikens.
Shaikens: Ha ha ha!
Me: I guess I'll let you get to your game. Are you there? Hello?
. . . if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. . .
Man Pranks Dog
5 months ago