When we get coons, Momma just sweeps 'em off the porch with a broom!
Well, those two "nigger boys" finally stole something, but it wasn't mine.
Willie, Austin's older brother, was the victim. Willie is a tall 18 year old with a dark complexion, speech impediment and a menial part-time job to call his own. "Dey hole ma man goose" What? "Days tole my mom's goose!" I'm sorry, what the fuck did you say? After going around for a bit like an Abbot and Costello routine, I realized that Willie was referring to his "Mongoose" (which is apparently an expensive bicycle). The culprit? Blacks, of course!
Austin's "daddy" bypassed the cops in true omerta fashion and found the punks himself. They had already removed the brake cables and stickers (How about we peer into the future and hand you your felony now?). Several cans of spray paint littered the front yard (I know, right?) where the bike was found. I could not ascertain what Austin's "daddy" actually said to the boys or their parents, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. Austin's "daddy" is a pretty intimidating man (I could take him, though).
All is well, I suppose. Willie got his bike back. Justice was served (?) and I've made little progress concerning my self-inflicted education .
* Sum things are meant to offend. If this post did not offend you then there's sumthing wrong!